Then you could only have five things in each category. OK, bear with me. Umm. Well, yes, with such an ample justification let's do these things:

Steph:

TOP 5 NEWS PRESENTERS
Jeremy Paxman
George Alagiah
Sophie Rayworth (or however the hell you spell it)
Jon Snow
Will Glennon

TOP 5 PRETENTIOUS BANDS
Travis
Coldplay
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Busted
The Donnas

TOP 5 MOST ANNOYING TORY POLITICIANS
Oliver Letwin
Boris Johnson
Ann Widecombe
Michael Howard
Michael Ancram

TOP 5 COLOURS FOR A TOOTHBRUSH
Pale pink
Bright pink
Green
Yellow
Magenta

TOP 5 CRICKET COMMENTATORS
Jonny Saunders
Jonathan Agnew
Henry Blofeld
Richie Benaud
Harsha Bogle (is that how you spell it?)

TOP 5 WAYS NOT TO DO WORK
Drink tea
Watch Alias
Make lists of Top 5s
Sit at desk and think about cricket
Sleep

TOP 5 REASONS WHY ERIC CANTONA SHOULD BE THE NEXT PRIME MINISTER
He's French
He used to be a footballer
Err... (can you tell I know jack shit about Eric Cantona) He's quite angry
He's not a possum
He'd look good on a mug

TOP 5 NORWAY THEMED MARRIAGES
Meg and Toby (because they love each other, dammit)
Sue Blay and Valerie Baldwin (work that one out)
Steph and Darz (because he's got the best dress sense)
Toby Chicken and Rose Pendragon (hang on...)
Stephen and his violin

TOP 5 DISTANCES WHICH ARE FURTHER THAN YOU EXPECT
From the bottom to the top of the stairway to heaven (Rolfie's, not Led Zep's)
The walk from the Silver Street Lane bus stop to my house
5cm
From my bed to the floor
The distance from Houston to Mars

TOP 5 PIECES IN 5:4 (I'm too stupid to play in 5:4, so you'll have to bear with me here)
Mission Impossible
Take Five
'Pyramid Song' (I think) by Radiohead)
'Trouble' by Coldplay, with a cunning fifth beat in every bar to make it sound like Radiohead
'Start Again' by Electric Soft Parade, which is actually in seven, but Toby did it so why can't I?

TOP FIVE DAYS OF THE WEEK, IN ORDER
Saturday
Sunday
Friday
Tuesday
Wednesday

TOP FIVE MONTHS OF THE YEAR, IN ORDER
February
December
October
August
July
TOP FIVER
The one with the unknown woman on it, because it's got some guy who looks like John Lennon on it in the background

TOP 5 THINGS BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER 'G'
Gingerbread
George Weasley
Grandfather clocks
Gawping
Germaine Greer

TOP 5 PIECES PLAYED AS A MEMBER OF WWYO
Star Treks Through The Years
Finlandia
Masquerade Suite
Evita
Wedding Day at Troldhaugen

TOP 5 ELEMENTS
Au
Ag
Mg
Ca
Cl

TOP 5 BOOK CHARACTERS
Arthur Dent
Captain Vimes
The Demon Crowley
Jane Eyre
Hooves

TOP 5 SHAPES FOR PASTA IN SPAGHETTI SAUCE
Alphabet shapes
Star Wars-themed
Disembodied hands
Camels
Hoops

TOP 5 OLYMPIC SPORTS
1) Beach volleyball (FLESH!)
2) Swimming (still FLESH! But damn those speed suits)
3) Madison cycling
4) Doubles badminton
5) Pingpong

TOP 5 GINGER PEOPLE
1) Paul Collingwood
2) Alice
3) Meg
4) Bryce Dallas Howard (obviously...)
5) Andy the Leper

TOP 5 CLUES FROM THE LAST CROSSWORD I DID
1) 15 Across: Stupid person (9)
2) 22 Down: Poem by Keats (3,2,1,11)
3) 10 Down: Hindu sect and its chant (4,7)
4) 57 Across: State of being infamous (9)
5) 26 Across: Italian dairy product

TOP 5 PIECES IN C MAJOR
1) 'Soul Limbo' by Booker T and the MGs
2) 'Like Only Lovers Can' by Ed Harcourt
3) 'The Life of Riley' by the Lightning Seeds
4) K. 545 by WA Mozart
5) 'You'll Never Walk Alone' by Rogers and Hammerstein

TOP 5 NORWAY PEOPLE
1) Stephen
2) Stephen
3) Stephen
4) Stephen
5) Stephen

TOP 5 TOP 5s
1) Top 5 ways not to do work
2) Top 5 things beginning with 'G'
3) Top 5 elements
4) Top 5 Norway-themed marriages
5) Top 5 cricket commentators

And for Toby's revenge, click here!

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