Chorus:
Rupert Murdoch is a twat
Please give me my Ashes back
Rupert Murdoch is a swine
Oh, those Ashes, they are mine
Give me back my second Test
Sky have rights - I do detest
Though I like old TMS
On real television it would be best
Chorus
World Cup coverage would be nice
I'd switch it on in a thrice
Of the action I'd like a slice
I don't want to pay the full Sky price
Chorus
On Boxing Day I'd like see
Trescothick hammer Warne gleefully
Vaughan will get a century
We'll get those Aussies, how happy we'll be
Chorus
Championship games and NUL
With Robin Martin-Jenkins and Ian Bell
When Aussies score the runs I'll yell and yell
But I'd be watching cricket, so what the hell
Chorus
I'd like to see more ODIs
Please comply or Murdoch dies
Anguished or ecstatic cries
From my mouth will arse
Chorus
My school free periods I'll never forget:
Spent watching live scores on the Internet
Being asked to buy crap and to bet
On the taker and fall of the next wicket
Chorus
With the Benaud in the chair
With Antipodean flair
C4's brilliance over there
With which nothing can compare.
Chorus
And if Reeve and Nicholas' voices
Foul the air, we still have choices
Don't despair! England rejoices
Aggers, Blofeld, mellow noises.
Chorus
While the night-time stops our sight
England win gargantuan fight
Aussies 4-2-6 runs light
Fold beneath the English might.
Chorus
Gough and Caddy rough them up
Fighting Flintoff never rup-
-tures his spleen and we all sup
At success, a glory-cup.
Chorus
Hussain bats at number three
In the ODIs and- see
Average 1-4-2, by tea
Sri Lankans and Aussies flee.
Chorus
In apartheid's old back yard
England smiles as Tudor's hard-
Swinging yorkers make the card
Of the opposition's marred.
Chorus
World Cup Final ours; our first
Victory, a lightning-burst
Like old '66 and Hurst
Except of course, that football's worse
Chorus
Meanwhile Sky goes down the drain
And there's not a hint of rain
Murdoch man will die in pain
Fat cat's loss is public's gain
Chorus
Now here's a novel idea that I've
Thought of: how about cricket on Five?
It would stop their constant ratings dive
Yes! For rights Channel Five must strive
Chorus
If Five get rights then Athers must stay
If he's got rid of then Five must pay
Then both the station and Murdoch I'd flay
I'd get them both, come what may
Chorus
I'm losing cricket sources fast
This verse appears to be second from last
Many thanks go out to my supporting cast
But I'm hearing, not seeing them - dang and blast
Chorus
When I'm inevitably in my bed
Listening in with aching head
I'll curse Rupert Murdoch and wish him dead
But that'll go down like a balloon of lead
Chorus (x2 for posterity)
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